Starting from a difficult place

For a long time, food and I did not get along.

As a child, I was a very fussy eater. Meals often felt like something to get through rather than enjoy. But I was always in the kitchen with my mother. I would stir and cut while she measured and blended, usually moving quickly, slightly stressed, and convinced she was not a good cook because two of her three children were difficult to feed.

That was never how I saw it.

What I remember is the consistency and care. If one of us had been away, she would prepare our favorite meal to welcome us home, always with something baked as well. For me, that meant chicken satays and chocolate brownies. For my brother, carrot cake. Food in our house was how our family made each other feel seen and welcomed, even when it was hard to get everyone around the table.

Looking back, for me food has never been just about eating, but always about spending time with others.

Learning through sharing

And that feeling of connecting over food became even stronger when I became a student. It’s entirely likely that I spent more time cooking and eating than studying! It wasn’t just about learning recipes. It was about having people to cook with and for, people to learn with and from.

My university friends came from different places and backgrounds. The UK, the Middle East, the USA. Food became a practical way to get to know each other. We cooked together, shared family recipes, and introduced each other to dishes from home. Not everything worked. Some meals were genuine failures. But even those were part of how we built our friendships.

There was a vegetarian lasagna that just wasn’t right and a tomato sauce that got worse with each ingredient we added in an attempt to fix it. Those disasters are just as much part of our shared history as the meals that were delicious.

Food became the main way we built connection. It was easier to talk, laugh, and understand each other while cooking or eating. It gave structure to friendships that were still forming and allowed us to have extravagant meals every night of the week, while only cooking once or twice.

Building new traditions

Christmas was where that became most visible. Instead of following one tradition, we combined them. Pancakes from one family for breakfast. Roasted potatoes from another. Gratin from someone else. We kept what mattered to each of us and built a shared version of the day. The dessert table always reflected that same mix, slightly excessive but intentional.

We planned together, cooked together, and ate together. In doing so, we learned about each other in a more direct way than conversation alone allows. What people chose to cook, what they missed from home, what they insisted on including. Food became a way of understanding what mattered to each person.

That is when food stopped being something I struggled with and became something I relied on to connect with others. It became a practical way to make and maintain friendships.

Continuing the pattern

Now, living in Belgium, that pattern has continued. The strongest friendships I have built here are still centred around shared meals.

One day stands out clearly. A friend came to visit for the marathon and brought three others I had not met before. We cooked together for the day. Vegan, vegetarian, and meat dishes all on the barbecue, shared across one overfilled table. It was simple, but it created an immediate sense of ease between people who had just met.

By the end of the day, we were no longer strangers. We had built something through the act of cooking and eating together.

That is what food does in my life. It creates a space where connection happens without forcing it. It allows relationships to form through doing something practical together, rather than trying to make conversation do all the work.

For me, food became less about the food itself and more about how it helps me get to know others.

Quick Fire Food Round

Dish that reminds me of home
Chicken stir fry from a recipe my parents brought back from Tokyo, and Scottish tablet my dad makes at Christmas.

Go to meal for friends
Sausage and lentil stew. It changes depending on the season and what is available. A flexible, reliable dish that works well for feeding a group.

Biggest cooking disaster
Making a birthday cake for my mother: but using baking soda instead of baking powder. It tasted like soap!

Where do you like to get your ingredients to cook something from your home country?
I like to get strong cheeses from Switzerland (where I grew up) either at the market or at Elsen Kaasambacht. I love some aged Appenzeller cheese or in the right season a Vacherin to bake.

What is a new meal you discovered since moving to Belgium?
Not exactly a meal, but I discovered why waffles were always so inconsistent: because there are different types! I only like one of them...

What traditions do you have around food?
I don’t always do this, but I love to celebrate pancake day (in the run up to Easter) – mostly because it’s an excuse to have sweet (and savoury) pancakes for dinner.

In your language, how do you say ‘enjoy your meal’ or ‘that’s tasty’ or ‘I’m full’
In Switzerland we say “en guete” for enjoy your meal.