How to Manage Emotions as a Job Seeker

Hopeless.
Alone.
Ignored.
Not valued.

These were some of the words internationals used to describe their job search at a recent International House Leuven (IHL) workshop.

When you ask an international, “How’s the job search going?”, the answer is often a deep sigh that says more than words ever could.

Looking for a job is challenging for anyone. But doing so in a new country where you may be unfamiliar with the job market, hiring timelines, workplace culture, or expectations adds an extra layer of stress. For many internationals in Belgium, this reality can make the job search emotionally exhausting.

So how can you manage the difficult emotions that arise when the search stretches on for months—or even years? At a recent IHL workshop led by a mental health professional, participants explored why job searching feels so intense and how to better cope with it. Here are some key takeaways.

International House Leuven

16 January 2026

Why Is Job Searching So Emotional?

Job searching requires vulnerability. You’re asked to condense your experience, skills, and ambitions into one or two pages and send them off to be judged, often without feedback.

It’s no surprise that rejection can feel personal. When an application is declined, it may feel less like “this role wasn’t a match” and more like “I’m not good enough.” Over time, repeated rejections can start to chip away at your sense of self-worth.

For internationals, additional pressures often come into play:

Uncertainty around visas

Language requirements

Cultural differences in hiring

The “invisible” effort of adapting to a new system

One of the key messages from the workshop was this: strong emotional reactions during a job search are not a weakness; they are a normal human response.

The Emotional Cycle of Job Searching

Many job seekers experience a repeating emotional cycle: moments of motivation and hope followed by disappointment, self-doubt, and demotivation. While draining, this cycle is completely normal, and you’re not alone in experiencing it.

Understanding this pattern can help you interrupt it.

The Emotional Loop

When something happens, such as receiving a rejection, our minds often fill in missing information with assumptions, frequently involving self-blame. This creates an emotional loop:

Situation → Emotion → Story → Behavior → Emotional Consequence

For example:

Situation: Your application is rejected

Emotion: Self-doubt

Story: “I’m not good enough to work anywhere.”

Behavior: You stop applying

Emotional consequence: Guilt, pressure, demotivation

One rejection (or several) does not mean your skills lack value. But the story you tell yourself can keep you stuck in this loop. The good news? Recognizing the loop is the first step toward breaking it.

What’s Happening in Your Body and Brain

When your nervous system is regulated, you’re within what’s called the window of tolerance. This is the state where you can think clearly, feel balanced, and respond rather than react.

When job-search stress pushes you outside this window, two things may happen:

Hyperarousal

This can feel like anxiety, racing thoughts, or feeling overwhelmed.
What helps: grounding techniques, especially slow, deep breathing.

Hypoarousal

This may feel like numbness, low energy, or lack of motivation.
What helps: gentle movement and breathwork to re-engage your body.

Silvana Romero, the mental health professional who led the workshop, recommends seeking professional support if you feel stuck outside your window of tolerance for a prolonged period. In the meantime, breathing exercises and physical movement are effective ways to support self-regulation.

Protecting Your Inner World

A job search often involves sustained effort with very little feedback, and our nervous systems aren’t designed for that. During this time, it can help to remind yourself:

Looking for a job is not your entire identity

Your thoughts and emotions are not always facts

Rejection does not define your worth

This phase of life does not determine your value

You are in the process, you are not the process

Tips from Other Internationals

Here are some tips we've heard from other internationals who have gone through the job search themselves:

"Don't just apply for jobs all day long. Try to break up your week by learning a new skill. Seeing yourself excel in something that isn't applying for jobs can help give you a newfound motivation."

"Give yourself grace and have patience. Searching for a job is no easy task. Try to set up time to allow yourself to relax. Meet with a friend, get a little treat, join a sports club. Anything that can help make this period easier."

"Move your body. Being stuck inside all day in front of a computer, applying for jobs is really difficult. Getting out and moving your body can help you regulate."

Continue Looking for Support

Job searching can feel isolating, which is why connection matters. Whether it’s meeting someone for coffee, attending a workshop, or simply sharing frustrations with others who understand, support can make a real difference.

International House Leuven offers: